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The way I wished my personality to be

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I was always the one who seemed like an obliging individual, who would always do anything to make others happy, would always listen to his parents, would always respect elders and would never do anything dumb enough to let anyone heart feel hurt due to his deeds. I was the one who would ensure that his deeds remain pure, so he never have to face the brunt of karma. I was the one who believed in god, I was the one who loved to live for others. I lived to make others happy, I always thought, one day, I would make my parents proud of me, I would achieve something big, one day, I would surely see that glitter in there eyes, and would be satisfied that I did something worthwhile. I made castles in the air, where I had a successful career, in different fields, that changed as I grew from a child to teenager. For some years, I thought to serve the humanity in the form of doctor, and for some, I wished I would be a computer expert, and even more to it, some days I felt like I knew everything and would one day unleash some great discovery in front of the world.
But the thing I wished, was to make my parents smile, and to make that smile everlasting. I know I was lazy back then, not to score the best of grades, but I made sure my grades were enough not to hurt them ever. They had dreams for me, and I made sure, I would fulfill them. I made them assured enough that one day, your son will achieve something that everybody is not able to and my parents always blessed me for it, and trusted me with full faith for whatever I told them. They stood by my side in every decision of mine and I believed they would stay with me for the rest of my lives. I always made sure that I am clear in my goal, a goal, not specific as others, but sure enough to make me successful one day. From the start, it was not money, that I yearned for, it was self fulfillment that I wished for. The happiness one feels on being able to achieve anything for which he has been waiting since ages, is one of the best, much above material wealth. And for me, that happiness was, seeing my parents smile because of me. Seeing them contended because of me.
I never knew, days would pass so soon, without any definite future I would be left all alone, in gloom. God would be so unfair to me despite being an ardent believer. And one day, I would be termed under achiever. And much before that, I would loose my strength to live, the thing that I cherished in my life, my dream. That dream would be lost in the sands of time and the destiny divine, and one day, my mumma and papa, would leave me undestined. I never thought death would ever cross our ways. But today when I sit all alone, I just wish, just once, I would be able to make them smile, just because of my deeds. Maybe I am still not successful in the eyes of many, but I just wish, wherever papa is, he should see me, and then maybe smile, if he accepts my life successful. Touching the lives of many souls by writing what I feel, I believe, I am doing just my part, to make myself believe, that life is meant to be lived, not just for the dreams that you have in your eyes, but for the ones, that are lost in the sands of time.
Maybe some day, you will rise again, and that particular day, your dream would be in front of your eyes, waiting for you to embrace it once again with all the strength you have. And that day, you would surely be successful.

I wish I would see my parents once again, I wish I could have done something more, that would make them smile, in the period they were with me in this mortal world. I wish they could see me today, I am still the same, still with the same values inculcated in me, by them. A child, who might have lost his way, but never lost the sight of his destiny. One day, I would also rise, and that day, I would say, I have survived…. And not only survived, but lived, lived contended, to have tried to find the path towards enlightenment.

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